"Charles?" Lexa said as he entered the dimly lit room, he had taken to dying his hair black and wearing brown contact lenses since moving back to America {this was to help disguise his appearance as he was still wanted by the Department of Justice, F.B.I. and D.E.A., not to mention the District Attorney's office back in Chicago} but Lexa did not know this and she almost did not recognize her friend. "You look so.., different, why have you dyed your hair.., and your eyes.., look so strange, not the briliant shade of blue I remember." she commented as she came near, seeing he was in great distress.
"Oh Leah!" Charles said his eyes reddened by previous tears "I can not believe what has happened to our poor Lexa!" the level of his disparity coming through in the sorrowful tone of his voice. The two embraced tightly sobbing on one another's shoulder, and it felt good for Lexa to feel his arms around her again. Then Charles said close to her ear, and she could feel his hot breath on her neck, confessing "Oh God! Leah. God help me, but I think this is all my fault."
Here Lexa let loose and stood back looking Charles in his tear filled eyes. "What? That's impossible!"
"Don't you understand? I was so in love with her! I should have married her, like I had wanted to in the first place." Charles confided to Leah, but of course, he like, all the rest, believed he was speaking with Leah, it was only Lexa who knew Leah was dead. So, unkowing, Charles poured his heart out to the woman he had loved and had dreamt of marrying. "I loved her so much, and now I can never tell her how I really feel." Charles lamented.
Lexa was stunned by this revelation, for Charles had never discussed the subject of marriage with her, except durning the fight with Bengiman when Charles declared he would never marry her. Lexa let go of Charles as she took a step back sitting on the edge of the bed, she was very dizzy and felt faint. Charles lent a hand and helped her, sitting next to her, then she turned to him and said "Charles, is that true? Did you want to marry my sister?
"Yes." he said with a nod of his head.
"Did you ever tell her this?" she asked waiting to see if he would tell a lie.
"No." Charles replied sadly shaking his head.
"Why?" Lexa asked wiping away a few tears from his eyes.
"I was going to but..," he sighed staring down at the floor ashamed by his behavior.
"But what?"
"The last time I saw her, that day when I found out about her and.., Bengiman" Charles uttered his name, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. "Before that day.., of the fight.., you know I would have forgiven her of anything, anything in the world.., but when I found out she had been with.., him.., so many times.., it was just too much to take. So my bitterness and jealousy and anger got in the way of the true love I had for her.., And if I could have been more forgiving, more understanding, I would still have her beside me, she would be my wife, our poor, sweet Lexa, would still be alive." Charles said with the weight of his guilt- ridden, painful emotions heaped upon him with undeniable misery.
Lexa felt her heart melt like wax over a flame, for his proffession of his love for her had touched upon her very deeply, and she herself still loved Charles and had never really stopped. "Sweetheart! It is not your fault, there was nothing you could have done, don't blame yourself for what might have been." here Lexa put her arms around him, to give her beloved a little comfort, to give his mind ease. "Ssh, ssh, Charles, there, there, listen to me." she said in a soft gentle voice as she held back her own tears telling him "I want you to know that Lexa forgives you, of anything you feel you have done to wrong her, or for any unkind words you have said."
"How do you know she forgives me?" Charles lamented resting his weary head upon Leah's shoulder.
"Oh my dear, sweet, suffering Charles.., I know she forgives you..," here Lexa felt the overwhelming urge to tell Charles all, that it was really she, Lexa, that was still alive, that it was Leah who was dead. However, a stronger desire to keep her secret safe, and protect her life, surpassed all her reasons to tell him the truth, so she contiued "because Charles.., I forgive you." with these words she turned her head toward him and gave him a liitle kiss on his tear stained cheek.
"Leah.., you are so kind to me." Charles said as he sat up putting his arms around her and giving her a litlle squeeze, then, when he looked into her bright green eyes, it seemed so strange to him, for she had the familiar face of his dearly departed Lexa, and he said to her "It is just so hard to look at you, you look just like her." now for one brief second, as the two sat on the edge of the bed together, embracing one another, face to face, eye to eye, a feeling surged up between them, in that split second the love between them was physicaly expressed with a short, exquisite kiss. Then reality set in "Oh God! Leah, I am so sorry, please forgive me, I should not have., I.., you look just like her." Charles said as he leapt up from the bed, with an erection so hard you could cut diamonds with it. "Oh, please! Do not tell Xation, he would kill me."
"I won't tell him, I promise.., I just want you to do one thing for me." Lexa said glad the kiss had happened, in more ways then one, for his action would prove to be most advantageous to her needs "I want you to give me some morphine..,"
Charles looked horrified "I..?"
"I need something strong for my migraines, my depression, my stress and anxiety!" Lexa said as she stood up reaching out for him in desperation "After what has happened! Charles.., did you know they showed me the crime scene photo? I had to identify her, she was shot through the throat, nearly to the point of decaptation! God damn it!" here she collapesed back on the bed in a heap of misery and tears with flashes of the image of her murdered sister, our poor Lexa could still see the gory image even when she closed her eyes.
Charles looked down at the wretched sight of this woman in mourning, this was his friend, the sister of his beloved. Now Charles had lost much of that which was inside him, and that was kindness, goodness and love. However there still remained, alive and well, somewhere insdie him such emotions as compassion, and mercy and pity. So he sat next to his dispirited friend holding her once again, gently rocking her back and forth lightly in his arms "There, there, my darling, I will give you what ever you need to numb yourself to this tragedy and misery. Though morphine is too dangerous.., I think, instead, I will give you a nice dose of Thorazine."
"Charles, I want you to promise you will keep me so doped up I won't even remember the next few days, I don't think I can handle going to the funeral.., this is just all too much to take" her words were all full of desperation and disparity and it hurt his heart to hear "I don't think I will have the strength and courage to go and say goodbye to.., her."
"Hush, hush., of course you will have the courage, I will see to that., and I promise I will do wahtever it takes to help you make it through these next few dark days." Charles said doing his best to reassure her. Although our Charles was basically devoid of any realtionship with his Lord, he offered up a silent prayer to his God, just the same, begging for him to send his love to his Lexa in heaven, and asking for the strength and wisdom to take care of Leah during this time of endless sadness and pain.
"Oh Leah!" Charles said his eyes reddened by previous tears "I can not believe what has happened to our poor Lexa!" the level of his disparity coming through in the sorrowful tone of his voice. The two embraced tightly sobbing on one another's shoulder, and it felt good for Lexa to feel his arms around her again. Then Charles said close to her ear, and she could feel his hot breath on her neck, confessing "Oh God! Leah. God help me, but I think this is all my fault."
Here Lexa let loose and stood back looking Charles in his tear filled eyes. "What? That's impossible!"
"Don't you understand? I was so in love with her! I should have married her, like I had wanted to in the first place." Charles confided to Leah, but of course, he like, all the rest, believed he was speaking with Leah, it was only Lexa who knew Leah was dead. So, unkowing, Charles poured his heart out to the woman he had loved and had dreamt of marrying. "I loved her so much, and now I can never tell her how I really feel." Charles lamented.
Lexa was stunned by this revelation, for Charles had never discussed the subject of marriage with her, except durning the fight with Bengiman when Charles declared he would never marry her. Lexa let go of Charles as she took a step back sitting on the edge of the bed, she was very dizzy and felt faint. Charles lent a hand and helped her, sitting next to her, then she turned to him and said "Charles, is that true? Did you want to marry my sister?
"Yes." he said with a nod of his head.
"Did you ever tell her this?" she asked waiting to see if he would tell a lie.
"No." Charles replied sadly shaking his head.
"Why?" Lexa asked wiping away a few tears from his eyes.
"I was going to but..," he sighed staring down at the floor ashamed by his behavior.
"But what?"
"The last time I saw her, that day when I found out about her and.., Bengiman" Charles uttered his name, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. "Before that day.., of the fight.., you know I would have forgiven her of anything, anything in the world.., but when I found out she had been with.., him.., so many times.., it was just too much to take. So my bitterness and jealousy and anger got in the way of the true love I had for her.., And if I could have been more forgiving, more understanding, I would still have her beside me, she would be my wife, our poor, sweet Lexa, would still be alive." Charles said with the weight of his guilt- ridden, painful emotions heaped upon him with undeniable misery.
Lexa felt her heart melt like wax over a flame, for his proffession of his love for her had touched upon her very deeply, and she herself still loved Charles and had never really stopped. "Sweetheart! It is not your fault, there was nothing you could have done, don't blame yourself for what might have been." here Lexa put her arms around him, to give her beloved a little comfort, to give his mind ease. "Ssh, ssh, Charles, there, there, listen to me." she said in a soft gentle voice as she held back her own tears telling him "I want you to know that Lexa forgives you, of anything you feel you have done to wrong her, or for any unkind words you have said."
"How do you know she forgives me?" Charles lamented resting his weary head upon Leah's shoulder.
"Oh my dear, sweet, suffering Charles.., I know she forgives you..," here Lexa felt the overwhelming urge to tell Charles all, that it was really she, Lexa, that was still alive, that it was Leah who was dead. However, a stronger desire to keep her secret safe, and protect her life, surpassed all her reasons to tell him the truth, so she contiued "because Charles.., I forgive you." with these words she turned her head toward him and gave him a liitle kiss on his tear stained cheek.
"Leah.., you are so kind to me." Charles said as he sat up putting his arms around her and giving her a litlle squeeze, then, when he looked into her bright green eyes, it seemed so strange to him, for she had the familiar face of his dearly departed Lexa, and he said to her "It is just so hard to look at you, you look just like her." now for one brief second, as the two sat on the edge of the bed together, embracing one another, face to face, eye to eye, a feeling surged up between them, in that split second the love between them was physicaly expressed with a short, exquisite kiss. Then reality set in "Oh God! Leah, I am so sorry, please forgive me, I should not have., I.., you look just like her." Charles said as he leapt up from the bed, with an erection so hard you could cut diamonds with it. "Oh, please! Do not tell Xation, he would kill me."
"I won't tell him, I promise.., I just want you to do one thing for me." Lexa said glad the kiss had happened, in more ways then one, for his action would prove to be most advantageous to her needs "I want you to give me some morphine..,"
Charles looked horrified "I..?"
"I need something strong for my migraines, my depression, my stress and anxiety!" Lexa said as she stood up reaching out for him in desperation "After what has happened! Charles.., did you know they showed me the crime scene photo? I had to identify her, she was shot through the throat, nearly to the point of decaptation! God damn it!" here she collapesed back on the bed in a heap of misery and tears with flashes of the image of her murdered sister, our poor Lexa could still see the gory image even when she closed her eyes.
Charles looked down at the wretched sight of this woman in mourning, this was his friend, the sister of his beloved. Now Charles had lost much of that which was inside him, and that was kindness, goodness and love. However there still remained, alive and well, somewhere insdie him such emotions as compassion, and mercy and pity. So he sat next to his dispirited friend holding her once again, gently rocking her back and forth lightly in his arms "There, there, my darling, I will give you what ever you need to numb yourself to this tragedy and misery. Though morphine is too dangerous.., I think, instead, I will give you a nice dose of Thorazine."
"Charles, I want you to promise you will keep me so doped up I won't even remember the next few days, I don't think I can handle going to the funeral.., this is just all too much to take" her words were all full of desperation and disparity and it hurt his heart to hear "I don't think I will have the strength and courage to go and say goodbye to.., her."
"Hush, hush., of course you will have the courage, I will see to that., and I promise I will do wahtever it takes to help you make it through these next few dark days." Charles said doing his best to reassure her. Although our Charles was basically devoid of any realtionship with his Lord, he offered up a silent prayer to his God, just the same, begging for him to send his love to his Lexa in heaven, and asking for the strength and wisdom to take care of Leah during this time of endless sadness and pain.
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